Stop Calling It a First Date!

Dating News and Advice | Tuesday July 10 2012 4:00 pm |

Stop Calling It a First Date!


What is it with guys calling that first offline meet a "First Date?"

Let’s make something clear… When it comes to Online Dating, your first meeting with a woman is NOT a "First Date"! And that’s good news because it takes ALL the pressure off of you.

There’s a certain protocol that is often followed when meeting women online. You know it all to well, right?

  • First you email a woman you like.
  • Then you converse back and forth with emails for what I hope is no more than a couple of weeks.
  • Finally you agree to meet offline and see if you click in person.

Now, some guys like to call this the "first date," but it’s actually not a real date at all. It’s more like a casual meet where you both sit back, relax and chat over a drink at a lounge. It’s meant to be really laid back, like something you’d do with a good friend on the weekend.

No pressure, no expectations. You’re getting together to see if "something’s there" and it usually doesn’t take very long to figure this out.

A date?

Are you kidding me?

It’s more like a friendly outing or even a party than a "date."

Let me tell you about REAL "first dates."

Imagine you meet a woman at the grocery store. You exchange glances and then throw out your rock solid pickup line that NEVER fails! And you’re off and running!! The conversation is flowing and the flirting begins.

You start teasing her a bit and proceed to some initial touching… (flirty of course, NOT pervy!)

You two really start to click so you eventually get her phone number.

"Awesome," you’re thinking.

"Damn I’m smooth"!

So you start thinking and obsessing about when to place that all important "first call." Should you wait one day, three days, five days? All that stalling and obsessing has you off guard but you finally man up and just do it.

You call her and start having a great conversation. The dialog still flows and the chemistry is off the hook! It’s now time to ask her out. She says yes and you agree to meet Saturday night at a nice restaurant.

Now this meeting you’re going to have with her… what is it called?

Right! A First Date!

What’s the difference between meeting her after flirting in person and meeting up after flirting online?

Well flirting online puts you way ahead of the game! You’ve already established rapport and comfort in emails and if all went well, the first meet is nothing more than a formality… as far as it going great.

On the other hand, a first meeting after having met her offline is more like a daunting interview where you feel like you have to "impress her" by talking about cool things, dressing nice and picking the right venue.

All the pressure is ON YOU and who wants that?

That’s why we call the first meeting with a woman we met online just that… a first meet, not a DATE!

Dates are for singles who just met and need to impress each other.

Internet first meets are for singles who already know each other and don’t need to impress. They just need to confirm the chemistry in person.

No big deal at all! Right?

So stop calling it a first date and lose your fear of meeting her offline. After all, you two are already acquainted after having conversed via emails and now it’s just a matter of meeting up for a drink.

It’s going to go so well that you’ll kick yourself for not doing it sooner!

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